No No. Stop that. You look ridiculous, just stop what you’re doing.

18 Nov

Hello fellow citizens. Welcome to the first edition of “no, no stop it you look ridiculous, just stop what you’re doing” or NNSTYLRJSWYD for short. In this bi-monthly segment we will discuss various issues pertaining to human beings being ridiculous in the many ways they can be and see if we just can’t make our world a little brighter.

Chapter 1:

Like many, one of my favorite past times is people watching. You can do it just about anywhere and the possibilities of what people will do in a given amount of time is both limitless and hilarious. From beating their kids in public to being left hanging on a high five you can just about see it all.

But recently I have started to notice a fashion/lifestyle trend that has reason for alert. Simply known as The “Neo Hillbilly Hipster”.  This is a “man” who has never come out victorious in an arm wrestling match or cut down a 400 foot oak tree with nothing but his hands but would love to think he is being manly by wearing flannel. Let’s get one thing straight. Thinking your being manly and actually being a man are two totally different things.

Do you think lumberjacks gave a damn whether or not what they were wearing looked good? Hell no, they were too drunk on whiskey and too tired from wife beating to even care. Flannel was designed as a thick rough material to halt the cold and saw cuts. The only thing these hipsters were ever cut by was their second grade basketball coach.

Listen, you know how to read, you have the majority of your teeth, and you certainly are miles away from any possible altercation with a bear, so don’t dress like you own farm equipment or any tool for that matter.

Friends, keep your eyes peeled and I assure you it will only be a matter of a day before you see this Hillbilly Hipster. You can stop this by embarrassing them in a number of ways: Handing them a full load of logs to cut, beating them up in full bear attire, or simply calling them out in a large group of people.

Let’s end this before it gets out of control.

Projected 2010 Hillbilly Hipster clothing line:


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